Summer Style under $50

Guys! I am so obsessed with Amazon. Yes, I said Amazon! All of these are under $50. I bought them all for $260 total!!! Such a steal! 

$25 MAKEGSI Womens Jute-rope Middle Wedge Heel Summer Shoes Flip Sandals Lace Up (7.5, creamy-white) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XB4XDW2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_ff3ozb82JMEX9


$25 Women’s Gold Plated Slide On Slip On Mule Loafer Flats Shoes by LUSTHAVE Leopard 8 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0714KF3M5/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_jg3ozbA8DRRND


$50 (compared to $160 for Marc Fisher!) Indigo Rd. Women’s Airy Pump, Toffee, 7.5 M US https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LXRL78G/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Zg3ozbQPQNCDE


How cute is this cross body?? Only $45 and comes in 10 colors! Aldo Rovitolo, Fuchsia Miscellaneous https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XD713LY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_7h3ozbTVDT8AY


$45 CLUCI Women’s Leather Handbags Crossbody Bag Clutch Purse Shoulder Bags on Clearance White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01FJIOPLC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_bj3ozbPZQMCAZ


I’m loving this look! I own a similar one from a boutique in TN. I’ll link it at the end. This one is $45 Dezzal Women’s Elegant Spaghetti Straps Backless Crochet Lace Midi Dress (M, Azure) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06Y496MK9/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Mk3ozbZ8E5QAZ


$7 each! Bohemian Style Thread Tassel Dangle Earrings Women’s Girls’ Elegant Jewellery Ethnic Colorful Resin Eardrop (Cyan) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MXS5GSU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_lm3ozb6XJC2CH

Some day I would like to own my very own boutique. I’m passionate about fashion and style. I know people may say it’s vain, but I think it’s fun putting different looks together and expressing myself through those looks. 

Here is another lacey eyelet dress that I adore from that boutique in TN. Here’s a link to purchase it and you’ll get free sunglasses with your order! https://www.ivorycloset.com/collections/dresses/products/lisa-dress

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A hell of a life…

Many have told me that I should write a book about my life. It has been prophesied over me more times then I can count. I don’t know if I’ll ever get there but since I have this blog I finally have built up enough courage to share this story with you. It is graphic so beware and you might want to have some tissues near you. 

I can be the nicest, sweetest, most sincere person you’ve ever met. I can also be the most vindictive, hateful, revengeful, person you’ve ever met. I self sabatoge and then afterward I ask myself why the heck did I do that? I still can’t seem to find the answer. I’ve prayed and journaled so much in the last few days and I struggle with finding the root to this ugly side of me.

I know it’s about to rear its ugly head when I feel the most betrayed, let down, hurt, or thrown out like yesterday’s trash. It’s happened a number of times to me- being thrown away like an object and not an actual person.  

I’ve experienced all abuse imaginable- being tied up, spit on, raped- sexual abuse by the closest of my family and some boys who I thought were my friends. I’ve also experienced emotional abuse by many men and my father would call me all kinds of names and slap me around, berating me. I remember I had cleaned the bathroom but I missed one tiny hair on the sink and my father called me a dumb ass, worthless, piece of shit, but the worst of all was being sold for sex by a “fiend” (which means evil and demonic person) that I trusted in my life and being raped repeatedly my multiple “men” all through out my early teens. I remember the very first guy was this 40 or 50 year old who was a business man and had a lot of wealth and daughters of his own because I saw the family pictures in the master bedroom where he had his way with me. I was 14.  (This is why I have a huge heart for helping Sex trafficking victims). 

When I was 15 I was drugged and raped by two guys who I trusted as well. That’s what led me even further down a hole of self destruction because no one helped me and I kept it a secret for a very long time. I remember there was a bottle of ibuprofen and I took the whole thing to kill myself and thank God it was ibuprofen and not Tylenol because Tylenol would have caused acetaminophen poisoning and I surely would have been dead, but God had big plans for my life and I survived that first attempt. 

Background: My parents divorced when I was 2. Mom brought us to Wisconsin and remarried a lunatic who abused her all the time. We would visit our dad on holiday and when I was 5 and my brother 4 we told our mom something our dad did. It was that instant that my whole life changed. Danny and I spent the rest of our early years in CPS, therapy, psychiatrists, and did not have a normal childhood. My mom was an alcoholic and our life with her and my stepdad wasn’t the best environment either. Danny I were in foster care until the judge could decide the best living arrangements. Alas, It was my dad who got custody of us when I was 8. He and his girlfriend Cindy took us into their home down in Florida so I basically had to make all new friends. I missed my mom so much. I cried every night. Cindy died in a car accident a year later and my dad went off the deep end. He could barely take care of himself, let alone us. So, I raised my brother and I from 9 years of age until high school. My dad was a fisherman and would be gone every single night for multiple nights. Picture a 9 year old that you know being alone for years having to raise her brother. I had nightmares. I was scared of the dark, but I made sure Danny and I were okay. We slept in the same room and we always said our prayers before bed. We were all we had. It was also at this age when I had found out I had Cystinuria- a rare genetic kidney diseases that causes kidney stones to grow every day. One time I was in so much pain I began begging my father to take me to the ER. He said “I gotta sell these fish first and get some money”.. I was so angry and honestly thought I was dying. My dad had neglected my needs once again, but God placed this beautiful family in my life, the Frisbee family. They lived a few houses down from me and they were the family I was always looking for. They called me their Princess 2 (their daughter was Princess 1). I had the best times there and I always wanted to be with them. The mom would take me shopping, on family trips, bring me gifts when I was having kidney stone flare ups & they always involved me and my brother in their lives as much as they could. They didn’t know the extent of what was happening behind closed doors. 

It wasn’t until high school when I left home at 14 for good and stayed with friends, boyfriends, whomever would take me. People at school just labeled me as this trashy whore, but I tried my hardest not to let anyone know what was really happening in my life. I started cheerleading, made honor roll, and still had this dark secret life I was hiding. I hung out with the wrong crowd and began experimenting with drugs and alcohol- anything to numb the pain. My mom had been absent from my life for 5 years and I always wondered if she was dead or alive. I had made a shrine of her and would cut myself every chance I got to relieve the pain of missing her. I know it sounds weird, but it gave me a release. 

I ended up pregnant at 17 and lost the baby as well as dropping out of school, but that’s a different story I wish not to share yet (I did eventually get my GED). 

The love of God and His grace and mercy changed everything for me when I met Jesus face to face on September 19. 2007 (I was 20) at a home for troubled women. This encounter rewrote history and gave me a future and a hope. I know longer saw myself as the victim, but as a person who could turn those testing times into a testimony and help others find the light in the darkest places.  After spending almost 2 years in that women’s home, where I found God, I left Florida for good and moved to Virginia. I’ve been here ever since December 8, 2008. It’s here that I began living for the first time: a family, whom I now consider my real family, let me stay with them and I remember crying all the time because it was then that I realized how much I had missed growing up as a kid. I never felt loved growing up. I didn’t experience family dinners, movie nights, pretty Christmas trees and presents (except when my mom was sober and we did have a few extravagant christmas’), hugs and kisses were rare as well. Holidays were always with drunk people. This Christian family was so close and so loving. We ALWAYS ate dinner together and we had movie nights and game nights together. They treated me as a daughter and still do 10 years later. I’m actually going to visit them in two weeks. 

I’ve gone through more trauma then most women in my circle of friends. Very few know the graphic details of my childhood; being kidnapped by my father from my mom when I was 5 (that didn’t last but a month), watching my step dad beat my mom every single night as blood splattered on the walls (Danny and I were 4-8 years old and I remember hiding under our beds, behind doors, in closets so afraid and trembling). 

The amount of pain and suffering I experienced is unlike anything you may ever know and I’m not saying all of this to be a victim but to give others a glimpse into who I am, an overcomer. I’ve prayed through all of these things for over 10 years now and there are still things that come up to this day. To say I have dealt with suicidal attempts, depression, anger, personality disorder, PTSD, anxiety, addiction, self hatred, etc is an understatement. It’s been a battle since the day I was born- whether I was fighting for my life, literally, or fighting with a man to get off of me, or fighting my demons, I was always fighting. 

I am so grateful to God for this life He has given me today.  Sometimes I wonder if I deserve it because I still struggle with my old ways which is what I am trying to stop. It’s so hard sometimes. When I feel wronged by someone and pushed aside like I never mattered; Like I was never there for them but only took from them and wondering if they really truly knew me and my heart. I let my hurts and deep pain and sadness and rejection cloud my judgement and I did something I’ll always regret and ruined a close friendship. This friendship that I’ve shattered will take an act of God to recover. It’s times like this where I question like what the hell happened to me in that moment of self destructive sabotaging behavior? I will always love this person and I think that’s what sucks, because I do feel like I never existed to them. I have to let her go. I’ve crossed too many lines. I will always love my friend. She was always a good friend who hurt me one time and I just couldn’t forgive her in that moment. I wish I could turn back time but only God can redeem the past now. I am working on this ugly side of me, the one who always has to make the other person feel tremendous pain for what they did and I think I just answered my own question as to the root of my issue which is all of the pain I’ve experienced in my life seems to be taken out on the closest to me. My husband, my best friends, my “sisters”. It’s like I want them to pay for my suffering which is so messed up and there has to be a revelation that God will bring justice to those who’ve hurt me in tragic ways and that I am not the judge or the prosecutor. I pray that I will give up my old and destructive ways so that I can keep friends instead of pushing them away. 

Thank you for taking time to read my story. If you struggle with addiction, suicidal thoughts, self harm, or are being abused, please seek help. Don’t let it take you until your 20 to change your life. Tell a friends mom or a guidance counselor or a church pastor. I was always too afraid to speak up. God doesn’t want you to suffer. He has redeemed my life and I pray for yours to be as well. God bless โค๏ธ

Spring Faves $100 and under.ย 

Spring is just around the corner! Here is a collab of my favorite finds and they’re all under $100! Tassels, Pom poms, and off the shoulder style is all the craze. Also, check out Target’s new sugarfix by Bauble Bar- jewelry under $25 ((and a lot are priced at just $10!)) ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’š๐Ÿ’›๐Ÿ’™๐Ÿ’Ÿ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–

Vince Camuto tassel necklace

Tassel and Pom scarf
Blue Pepper off the shoulder dress
Vince Camuto tassel sandal heel
Steve Madden embroidered long vest
Off the Shoulder chambray dress 
Bauble Bar tassel earrings 
Kate Spade tassel phone case 
J Crew tassel tunic 
Chinese Laundry Tassel tie up sandal 
Zara Tassel Top
Forever 21 Tassel dress
Forever 21 Pom Pom sandals
Sole Society Tassel clutch <- so cute in yellow!!!

Happy Shopping! โค๏ธ

My Faves.ย 

So if you haven’t already you must download the Kroger app because you can shop for your groceries on the app and schedule a time to pick them up AND YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE CAR! ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ

โ˜๏ธIt’s called click list & it’s currently available in the Blacksburg Kroger and soon to be in the Christiansburg Kroger. Hallelujah ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

Y’all, it’s amazing because you can get your meals prepped in under 2 hours thank you, Jesus! ๐Ÿ˜ป Brett and I weighed our meats out for 4.5 oz each, 4 oz jasmine rice, and a handful of veggies (we like the big bag of broccoli, cauliflower, carrots) and we also like the pre-made butternut squash at Kroger as well. We steam all our veggies and use a rice cooker. Brett was once a chef so if you prep your meats you want to cook them to the following temps:

Steak- 130; chicken- 165; pork- 145; hamburger- 135-145. You’re welcome. 

For this week we did meals for 7 days and left 1 meal each open for our cheat meal. We did the following-

Breaky:ST turkey sausage breakfast sammich 16p/24c/7f 220 calories. Siggi’s blueberry yogurt 15p/13c/0f 100 calories

Snack:4 oz cottage cheese 13p/4c/3f 98 calories 1 cup, 5.5oz. Pineapple 0.6p/19.2c/0.6f 76 calories

Lunch:spinach leaf, tomato, cucumber, yellow pepper, Panera poppy seed dressing & 2 oz wild planet canned tuna and Goat cheese 1oz 6p/0c/8f 100 calories. 16p/0c/6f 120 calories tuna.  

After Work Out Shake:2 scoops Arbonne protein 20p/14c/3f 160 calories 2 tbsp almond butter 6p/6c/18f 200 calories 1 scoop Arbonne protein boost 10p/1c/1f 50 calories 2 hard boiled eggs using 1 tbsp coconut oil; 12p/0c/10f 140 calories

Dinner:4 oz chicken; 1/2 cup jasmine rice; 4 oz green beans: 34/2/1 protein, 0/22/5 carbs, 4/0/0 fat; 172/100/25 calories 

Daily totals:151p/108c/61f 1561 calories

We also made different dinners to switch it up-6 oz steak: 48p/0c/14f 330 calories and for more high protein snack options you can eat one of my favorite protein bars- EPIC sriracha chicken 15p/1c/4f. ๐Ÿ’ชWild Planet also has canned tuna and salmon which is no doubt the best of the best, seriously. 36p/0c/6f per can of tuna and salmon (tuna has 0.5 grams extra of protein and fat). 

So that’s our meal prep Sunday in a nutshell ๐Ÿฅœ!

๐Ÿ’‹

PS- we use avocado spread in place of mayo and well anything spreadable. To keep it fresh squeeze some lemon on the spread after mashing and place the core inside. Wahlaa! ๐Ÿฅ‘๐Ÿฅ‘

Macros.

What’s that?

Since January I have been working out but my diet hasn’t been the best. I have always been the type to either overeat or barely eat. I’ve struggled with my weight even when I was in shape and in my “prime”. I always wondered how to lift weights and eat properly and then I discovered macros. 

I had heard people talk about Macros before but I honestly had no clue what it was. 2 weeks ago I started A 30 day HIIT program thanks to my awesome friend, Noรซl’s recommendation, and now I needed the food plan to accommodate my new lifestyle. I absolutely hate diets and was always one of those girls at the gym on the treadmill staring at the girls lifting weights (like a creepy stalker) trying to figure out how to do it. ๐Ÿ˜‚ BUT NO MO!

Introducing my new lifestyle plan-what you’ll need- HIIT program (see above), 10 lb weights, gym mat, food scale, pedometer, timer, calculator, measuring tape (body measurements), scale ๐Ÿ˜ฉ, determination and A LOT of self control!

First you’ll need to calculate your macros (you’ll need to know your body fat percentage for this too!) I love This calculator the best. ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ™Œ

A day in the life-

I’m a nurse so I walk approx 1,000 steps per hour, but that isn’t going to build muscle. This is why I like the 30 day HIIT program. I can do it at home in less then 30 minutes! I am starting out as a beginner but after the 30 days I will level up and so on and so on. Cardio has nothing on HIIT because unlike cardio you’ll be speeding up your metabolism and you’ll still be burning calories for the following 24 hours post workout!! Amazing, right? ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ’ช this is why you shouldn’t pay attention too much to the scale because as you are burning fat you’ll be gaining muscle and muscles need protein so that brings us to our next part- macros. 

Macros are your Protein, Carbs, Fats, & Calories. If you’re serious about weight loss, gaining muscle, losing fat, and feeling healthier then counting these are a must. Also, try to keep off the booze; It’s really bad for your health and your body and will pack on the pounds fast!

My macro calculations were determined from my weight (155), height (5’4″), body fat (35%)- ok that was me being super vulnerable. 

Sample day in my food diary (I need to eat  1527 calories with 155 grams protein/100 grams carbs/55 grams fat):

  • 155p/100c/55f
  • 1527 calories

Breakfast-Simple Truth turkey sausage breakfast sammich ๐Ÿ˜‰16p/24c/7f 220 calories & Siggi’s blueberry yogurt ๐Ÿ„15p/13c/0f 100 calories

Snack 1- 4 oz cottage cheese 13p/4c/3f 98 calories & 1 cup, 5.5oz pineapple 0.6p/19.2c/0.6f 76 calories

Lunch- Salad spinach leaf, tomato, cucumber, yellow pepper, Panera poppy seed dressing & 2 oz wild planet canned tuna and Goat cheese 1oz 6p/0c/8f 100 calories goat cheese & 16p/0c/6f 120 calories tuna (I don’t count watery veggies bc they barely hit macros but that’s just me). 

After Work Out Shake- 2 scoops Arbonne protein 20p/14c/3f 160 calories & 2 tbsp almond butter 6p/6c/18f 200 calories &      1 scoop Arbonne protein boost 10p/1c/1f 50 calories

Afternoon snack-2 hard boiled eggs using 1 tbsp coconut oil 12p/0c/10f 140 calories

Dinner-4 oz chicken, 1/2 cup jasmine rice, 4 oz green beans 34/2/1 protein; 0/22/5 carbs; 4/0/0 fat =37p/27c/4f 297 calories

Daily totals: 151p/108c/61f 1561 calories

So as you can see I am pretty much on target with my daily allowance for protein, carbs, fats and calories. *you don’t need to worry about counting calories if you’re already counting macros because they end up adding up to the amount of calories you’ll need. How is that? Glad you asked. Here’s the formula-

Protein x 4; Carbs x 4; Fats x 9 = calories

Ex- 37×4; 27×4; 4×9 is 148 + 108 + 36= 292 calories (which is exactly the amount of calories in my dinner above) ๐Ÿ…ฐ๏ธ+ for good math skills ๐Ÿ’

I’ll definitely be posting my before and after photos. Feel free to message me any questions and remember progress takes patience and results take time. You can do anything you set your mind to! ๐Ÿ™…

So start planning by looking up foods on google and their nutrition info. Google has all the answers. Jot down your values for your protein, carbs, fats, & calories (if you want) and make a couple sample days like I did to get an idea of what you’ll need from the grocery store. Then you’ll want to meal prep using a scale and Meal prep containers like these that I found on Groupon. Amazon also has some great meal prep containers too! Once you have been prepping & counting macros for a while you’ll get the hang of it. 

And most importantly ALWAYS have a cheat MEAL (not day)! I like to do mine on saturdays (if you like booze then have a glass with your cheat meal). ๐Ÿ”๐ŸŸ๐ŸŒฎ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿช

Bless your enemies.ย 

Blessed assurance is knowing that no matter how much people curse you, the Lord will always love you. 

Give. Give. And give some more. May sound easy if you’re bringing in the dough. But sometimes God calls us to give when we have nothing and by nothing I mean this- the person God is calling you to bless had just cursed you. Has said terrible things about you. Had gone above and beyond to hurt you. But God. See, it’s easy to give to people who love you but to give to those who despise you and use you and make you feel like you’re literally worthless? Well that’s hard but I can only imagine the volumes it speaks to that person who is expecting you to retaliate and instead you bless them. Wow. Talk about grace. It takes serious grace and humility to bless those who curse you. To give to the ones who use you. To love those who hate you and push you away. But God. But God is faithful. His ways are not our ways. He is the giver and if we aim to be like him we have to do like him. We have to lay down our lives. Easier said then done though. For realz. Lord help me to be your hands and feet, your ears and lips, your everything and every purpose for your creation. Just as you are please help me to be. I want to be like you. I want people to see you when they look at me. I want to be the light and not the darkness. Help me shine your love out to the whole world. 

Targรฉt.

Yes I am a Targรฉt snob. I mean c’mon, if you’re not a Targรฉt fan you’re simply not human. You’re not real. You’re like living in a bubble surrounded by WALLS. Like Walmart. Come over to the dark side and embrace the crimson because royal blue is never in style. And just for the record, I used to be that Walmart girl- you know, the one in her pjs and Ugg boots sipping on a Dr Pepper and eating a bag of cheetos while she shops. Guilty. But then someone introduced me to this glorious new world. A world where people aren’t famous for their shopping attire but their ability to shop for hours with a Starbucks skinny vanilla latte in hand and a wallet full of cash (or credit ๐Ÿ˜). Where the bathrooms are clean and the people are clean. Where you find yourself again, and realize that therapy is overrated and Targรฉt is just the perfect pill for that major depressive disorder you recently were diagnosed with.

You walk in and immediately are met with the fresh aroma of coffee beans, but not just any coffee, STARBUCKS coffee. Duh๐Ÿ™„. Instantly your brain releases serotonin and you’re like, “damn I feel good.” Then you see those eye catching seasonal sales, you know, the $1, $3, $5 items perfectly positioned in their perfect packaging screaming your name and of course you find any excuse to purchase that rose gold stapler. Hello? New office needs it. ๐Ÿ™„ duh. Then you stare down those aisles wondering which way you should go… clothes and jewelry? Champs and charcuterie? Cute doggy sweater to my right? $19.99. Chandon $21.99. Your ADHD kicks in and you’re like “oh wait I have been looking everywhere for a leopard scarf with black tassels!” Off the rack and into your cart it goes. “Oooh pretty coffee mug!” I need that like I need a hole in my head ๐Ÿ˜†but alas I carefully place it in my cart. “Wait why did I come here? I can’t remember! Shoot! My husband is going to .. oh look! A mint Keurig! How adorbs!” Rosรฉ all day graphic Tee? Well, that’s like my anthem! I need this shirt. Next thing you know you’re in the freezer aisle. Goat cheese and spinach pizza?! “Of course! I love goat cheese, and I love pizza! No brainer!”

Then out of no where you see that beautiful little red and white sticker “clearance”. Fuhhhh. This is it. Moment of no return. Do you buy the mint can opener (I mean it matches the keurig), the cute gold measuring cups (they’re just too perfect to pass up), the Scandinavian furniture (because dude, they’re like so in style right now and on sale) and the soft, gorgeous, faux fur throw that is literally screaming, “pick me, pick me!”????? Of course you do! Then, as if things couldn’t get any better, you feel a vibration on your wrist. It’s your Fitbit kindly letting you know that you reached 10,000 steps! Why, thank you, Mr. Bit! Not only am I saving money, but I’m also hitting fitness goals and releasing happy brain chemicals all the while sipping on a latte and smiling at everyone who comes in my path. I say this is definitely a win-win kinda day.

My point in all of this is to say, Targรฉt is dope. It’s the new Macy’s. It’s the new Zoloft. It’s the place where all your sorrows melt away and your ability to feel pain is superseded with the ability to laugh again and enjoy the little things in life. In the end that’s all the matters anyway.

Disclaimer: you will spend more money going in then you planned. Be prepared for it. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ๐Ÿ’ธ